Cliff Gardner

Saturday, July 21, 2012

Wagons East!

Hey folks!

I'm writing this on behalf of Jessica and myself. We're moving to Maryland and rather than driving there directly, we decided take a longer and hopefully more entertaining route involving more bathroom breaks and less road rage. Here are the highlights so far:

--California decided to screw us one more time with an unexpected road closure when we left Long Beach at 3:30am, but we were able to successfully navigate our way around that mess. 

--We saw the Grand Canyon! I thought it was just a big hole in the ground, and I was technically right, though it was still staggeringly awesome. Everyone should go see the Grand Canyon at some point in their lives. I don't care that it's four hours from Phoenix and Phoenix is 8 hours from everywhere--it's worth it.

--We heard "Call Me Maybe" four times on XM radio, though I should mention that we're 10 chapters into "Game Change" on audiobook already so that's a pretty small sample size. We've actually gotten pretty good at screaming the cookie monster version of the song over the actual lyrics. Also, I've decided that I hate songs with sirens in them because they give me a heart attack every time.

--We went to the Heard Museum in Phoenix! In case you haven't *heard* (HA!), the Heard Museum is a really awesome exhibition of Native American art, history and culture. There was a fantastic exhibit on the life of Geronimo. Jessica got some really great jewelry, too.

--We went to see the Arizona Diamondbacks play the Houston Astros at Chase Field, which is, in my opinion, the most perfectly-designed baseball stadium in the world. The fans were fantastic considering that the Astros are basically an intramural team, and Jason Kubel hit THREE HOME RUNS, which was the most impressive individual feat either of us had ever seen at a sporting event in person.

--We've seen some wacky red state folks, including the "covenant" long-haul trucks which proudly announce, "It's a child, not a choice" on their back bumpers. There was also a "Most Outstanding Citizen" bumper sticker which we found suspicious. My hunch is that those drivers own large amounts of gold and have "Don't tread on me" shirts/flags. With Texas and Missouri still to come, this is going to get worse before it gets better.

Quotable Quotations!

While driving through Flagstaff, Jessica saw an "Arizona Pioneer Museum." Me: "Isn't that just a picture of all the pioneers who were on there way to Oregon but who died of heat stroke before they could get there?"

It was 106 degrees today. Jessica: Is this what it feels like for a chicken to be broiled? Yes, right?

In rural Arizona, there was a horse-crossing road sign. Me: "Oh my God, Ann Romney's nearby! We've got to get out of here as fast as possible!"

Also in rural Arizona, we passed a sign that read, "Bumpy Road Next 5 miles," and the road promptly rivaled sections of the 91/60 freeway in California--terrible. I remarked: "So let me get this straight. These people had the choice to either fix their crappy roads or just put up a sign saying 'Sorry about the road guys!' Get your act together!"

That's all for now. We're heading to El Paso tomorrow and Abeline the day after that, so we'll try to keep you all updated! Love,

Thomas and Jessica


  • Well, in one of my solo drives across the U.S. I managed to pull into Winslow, AZ just as "Take it easy" by The Eagles was playing on the radio. If you know the song then you know the significance.

    By Blogger Keith Cowing, at 12:03 AM  

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