Cliff Gardner

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Who needs emotional catharsis? Uh, ME!

All those who know exactly where they will be in fifty years please step forward---uh, not so fast THOMAS MCCLOSKEY!

Hahahaha! I kid! I kid cause I love! And because it’s a really fun coping mechanism!

OK so here’s the deal…I haven’t cried yet, but I know I will, and those of you who know me understand what a crier I am, so this is a little concerning. I’m afraid that I’m just going to randomly start squirting some big crocodile tears at a stoplight if I don’t do something soon.

You know how when you were a kid and some boy in your class got the chicken pox and your mom made you go over to his house and play with him just so you would get it then and not when you're 45 and die, you know, forcing the issue? Well I think I'm going to do a little emotional pre-emptive strike and make myself cry by doing one or more of the following:

--Watching “Titanic,” “Love Actually” and “Dead Poets Society” in a row.

--Pay some homeless guy a ten spot to kick me in the shins. But then he’d spend it on booze, which is, come to think of it, where I should be spending it. Never mind.

--Look through old photo albums of all the fun things we did together….oh, that did it. I better go buy some Kleenex.

Thanks to everyone for all of your kind and supportive words!


  • Cathart away, I say. I'm listening all over the place...

    I'm like a bad cold. You can't shake me and I make noses run...hmm...that analogy breaks down somewhere in there...

    By Anonymous zayne, at 12:55 AM  

  • You can also try American Beauty... that one makes me cry every time.. I'm rooting for you man. Hang in there, please?

    By Blogger Megan, at 6:15 AM  

  • Hang in there

    By Blogger Andrea, at 7:53 AM  

  • *more hugs*

    *cocoa* I think it's great that you're not trying to hold back.

    By Anonymous AmyK, at 7:57 AM  

  • Hang in there coach. Let me know if there is anything I can do...

    And, Love Actually is a good movie choice, so definitely go with that one.

    By Blogger Jared, at 10:47 AM  

  • You are going to make it, Thomas. When the tears hit, if you run out of Kleenex, I may have some left from my stockpile after the person I loved wound up not loving me. Then, eventually, you can put them away and just be angry. That's the next, and most fun, step.

    Let me at least rekindle your faith in homeless people who take your change. A man approached my sister and her boss in Dallas, Texas and asked for money to buy wine. Rather surprised by his honesty, they still managed to fuck with his head a bit before handing it over.

    "How do we know that you're going to use it for wine, hmm? What if you use it for something else?"

    "But I said I wanted it to buy wine!"

    "Right. I bet you're going to not even come near the liquor store, and next time we see you, you'll be drinking coffee."

    "Coffee? What the fuck, man? I swear to God I'm a wino!"

    Funny, huh?

    Hang in there. You've given that sound advice to me enough times that I think I can attest to it working and give it back.

    By Anonymous Christine, at 12:09 PM  

  • Emotionally abusing homeless people isn't funny. OK, it's hilarious.

    But to the point: I'm glad you're considering your future health with pre-emptive measures. I don't normally do music recommendations, but I'm going to now. When you reach the point that marks the mix of sadness and anger, at equal strength, check out Built to Spill's Perfect From Now On.

    Best wishes, sir.

    By Blogger Mike Owens, at 2:49 PM  

  • Love Actually gets me every time. EVERY TIME.

    By Anonymous Kristen.., at 4:57 PM  

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