Baby Got Back

Those of you who know me will attest to my desire to have a big family one day. It's an on going debate between Mandy and I. See, she wants to have two or MAYBE three kids, and only if the first two are boys, while I want to have enough to enter the entire family in a local co-ed slow-pitch softball league. However, given that my biggest contribution to the birthing process will be something that I do for fun (loving, hot fun!) anyway, I think my perspective on the issue is a little biased, so we'll probably end up closer to her end of the baby spectrum than mine. Especially after today.

This afternoon I went to the local Health and Human Services Department to take care of some food stamp issues, and the place was packed with screaming kids and their inept parents. One particular boy sounded like he was being stepped on by a giraffe, and I'm pretty sure the young girl behind me was responsible for shattering my glasses, that is until her mother started breastfeeding her in the most blunt and overt way possible. When a little girl around four or so threw her sippy cup at me after minutes of careful aiming, I was considering a vasectomy. By the time I had driven most of the way home, I had cooled down a bit, but I still stopped by a 7-11 and bought a lot more condoms.