The Oscar race is OVER.

I know many of you are looking forward to seeing the films that will be released in the next few weeks. Mandy is really excited about "Weatherman" and "North Country," and I’m pretty sure that David is looking forward to "Jarhead." Heck, even I am really pumped about "Walk the Line." Sadly however, all of these wonderful films will be shut out at the Oscars this year because one movie will trump them all, in every single category.

That movie, the cinematic orgasm, is the cartoon masterpiece “Valiant.”

This movie has it all. It might actually be the best movie ever made in the history of time. The only thing holding it back is that Chuck Norris isn’t involved in any way. Seriously, look at my check list for best movie of all time status:

Cartoon movie about pigeons: check.
Voice of Ewan McGregor as the pint-sized hero pigeon: check.
Every motherfucker with a British accent who has ever worked in Hollywood: check.

It better not get snubbed for best cinematography or I’ll lose all faith in the integrity of the Academy.