Cliff Gardner

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

Jesus is my homeboy!

My super good friends David and Kristen are getting married next summer, and they recently asked my other totally awesome buddy Zayne and I to be the masters of ceremonies at the event. In order to do so, however, Zayne and I need to be certified to some degree. Enter the Universal Life Church. Yesterday, I became an official, legally ordained reverend in about two minutes online. This allows me to:

--Administer last rights (I'm sure that'll come in handy)
--Absolve myself and others of sins (Confession is for suckers)
--Preside over weddings and funerals (See above)
--Start my own church (Read: cult)

I'm starting to think it's less and less likely that I'll ever be able to run for political office because of my blogging. Oh well.


  • who needs politics anyways, join the spiritual revolution! (this coming from a girl with a major that is 1/3 poly sci...)

    By Blogger Miss B, at 10:24 PM  

  • Yay! Thanks Tom!

    By Anonymous kristen, at 11:11 AM  

  • I find your beliefs fascinating and would like to subscribe to your newsletter.....

    Bonus points for catching the referrence.

    By Anonymous Alan, at 1:46 PM  

  • Hey, so if we set up churches and link them by blog, we can call them "satellite congregations," right? Double the offerings!!

    I think we should have a 15%'s only fair, adjusting for inflation, right?

    By Anonymous zayne, at 5:10 PM  

  • Does this mean you can preside over our wedding? That'd be kinda weird...

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 1:49 PM  

  • Regardless of your cult-like leanings--or maybe because of them, since I share them--I'd vote for you in any election.

    By Anonymous Christine, at 9:23 PM  

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