Addiction!

So, I broke my straight edge while in Florida. And by straight edge I mean my abstinence from caffeine. I had been off the wagon (or on the wagon, whatever) for eight months or so, but when I was staying with my brother in Tampa, my finicky eating habits caught up with me. See, the last time Sandy, Matt’s wife, had seen me, I was a Pepsi fiend, drinking about four cans a day, so to be a nice host, she went out and bought a bunch. I chose being a good houseguest over avoiding the charms of the dragon and drank a lot of it. Now, whenever I see Pepsi, I really want it. Oh well.

Still, it could be worse. My eccentric aunt Fabian has a different take on addiction—it is hilarious! Case in point: her dog muffin. Rather than giving her a treat when she does something good, she gives her a cigarette butt to chew on. The nicotine in them has Muffin so messed up that she gets really pissed off am chews up the furniture without at least three butts a day. So, since I have yet to chew on the kitchen table, I'm considering my addiction minor.