I don’t like dogs. There, I said it.

I will never own a dog. For years now I’ve been chased by them while running and at this point I’m a little gun-shy of pretty much all of them. I have no respect for a dangerous animal that can’t tell the difference between an attacker and an innocent passer-by. Also, I hate the way they smell…they shed and shit everywhere and are a huge pain in the ass because you have to worry about what they’re doing. Inevitably, even the really good one’s end up taking away time that could be spent on, well, anything but a dog. OH, and what’s more is that you always have to wash your hands after touching them. Forget that. They’re expensive, too. If Diane Lane made loving dogs a condition for a relationship with her, I would pass. Pass on Diane Lane. That's how much I don't like dogs.

It is probably worth mentioning that my family has a dog now and some of the best people I know have dogs. Clearly it works for them and I’m glad. I'll also admit that there are probably some really nice dogs out there that I could learn to live with. However, on the whole, dogs are just not for me, and I’m convinced that that doesn’t make me a bad person. I want leash laws strictly enforced with steep fines and the irresponsible owners of dogs that attack people should get lengthy prison terms. I don't care who let the dogs out, I just want them put back the hell in right now.