Cliff Gardner

Friday, May 15, 2009

10 things we've learned this week

I'm writing this from beautiful Southern California, where it's 70 all year and no one cares about anything. That's not true, it's not always 70. Seriously though, people care about the Lakers, which for me is like living in Occupied Paris. ANYWAY, here are things that I've learned along with the rest of society this week:

1) Don't show teenage hoo-ha in yearbook photos. It's bad news bears.

2) From TLC, it looks like Jon probably cheated on his wife (and all 8 of his kids because he hurt them too), and Kate might have even cheated on him. I've been saying for a while that Jon looks like the most miserable man in the world. Look at it this way--10 years ago, Kate (who is seriously cute now) was probably a straight up hottie when Jon, who is kinda funny looking, married her. My point is, whenever there's this big of a difference in attractiveness in a relationship, there's usually a catch. For Jon, it took a while, but the catch ending up being him having absolutely no choices anymore and living with someone who's hobbies include nagging, singing songs about school buses, and more nagging. OF COURSE it was wrong for Jon to cheat on his wife. It was stupid and horrible...and also one of the five more predictable things to happen in the history of reality TV. Just saying.

3) Darius Miles is a tool. The last holdout from the Jailblazers era got busted for weed, driving with a suspended license, and for general asshole behavior last night. He's also, apparently, the reason OJ Mayo is acting like a spoiled tool. Great move, Memphis. I hope it was worth it.

4) Pam might be preggers. I for one can't wait for the baby names episode next season.

5) Brandon Roy made the all-NBA 2nd team and was invited to try out for the Olympic team (along with Greg Oden and LaMarcus Aldridge). He was also the youngest person on the all-NBA list. THE FUTURE IS NOW. We have one of the top-7 best players in the league, and my argument is that we can't have a "well, just wait until they get better, they're so young, just be patient" attitude.

Look at it this way--when the Celtics got KG and Ray Ray two Summers ago, everyone thought the team was built more for 2009 more than 2008 for a myriad of reasons, and the attitude was, "we're going to win in 2009 so anything we get with these guys this first year is just a bonus." Well, every Celtics fan is really happy they won it all last year because KG snapped his knee in half and it looks like he'll never be the same. My point is, in the NBA, YOU NEVER KNOW. What if Brandon Roy hurts his knee(s) again? What if LaMarcus opts out in two years because the Sacramento Kings want to give him max money? What if Rudy decides to play for a team that runs more, like New York, or just go back to Spain? We have a great roster now but we can't afford to wait for these guys to mature. The Blazer front office needs to make some big moves this off season to put us in a position to win a championship next year. Everyone in Portland needs to have a win-now attitude while we still have a championship window.

6) Long Beach is amazing! I love everything about it--the location, the team, the coaches, the facilities, the program. The next two years are going to be fun, hard, challenging, exciting and amazing. I can't wait!

7) Twitter is fun. I've updated...a the past few days and I'm really enjoying myself. Check me out at notalentclown.

8) I'm really hoping to be a special guest on the321podcast because, as a spelling bee enthusiast, I feel I have a duty to tell as many people as possible about the upcoming competition.

9) Star Trek is great. I saw it twice and loved it twice. The hot green chick was one of Charlie Wilson's assistants, FYI. Seriously, IMDB that. When I texted my friend Hillary, who's from Iowa, about Kirk being from her homeland, she replied with a gruff, "Of course he is! EVERYONE knows that!" Um, no, actually--most people don't know that. Iowans really like their Star Trek, I guess. BTW, did you all know that at the Iowa State Fair every year there's a giant model of something out of butter? Last year is was a butter Shawn Johnson, the Olympic Gold Medal-winning gymnast. This year, I'm hoping for James T. Kirk.

10) I am happier now that I've ever been. Life is great! P.S.--Jessica is amazing.


  • Nice work on the post, T-Mac.

    I had a great time bombing around LA/LB with you this weekend. This year is going to be great!

    By Blogger dave, at 1:26 PM  

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