Cliff Gardner

Saturday, June 13, 2009

Tough choices

A few weeks ago I was at a restaurant and needed to pee. It had been a while and I had had several beverages, so I was ready to have one of those Austin Powers pees that lasts 3 minutes and involves me putting my hand against the wall. However, when I got into the men's room, there was a problem. See, in the one and only stall someone was having violent, loud, offensively smelly diarrhea (did I mention this was a Mexican restaurant? Does that help explain it? Think a bad reaction to 8 pounds of chips and salsa) and the one and only urinal was apparantly broken and wouldn't flush, though that hadn't stopped what I could only assume were dozens of men from pissing in it anyway. So, I was left with decision--wait out that guy with dysentery or add my contribution to the bright yellow urine pool and probably get spash-back piss on me and my clothes, plus hepatitis.

Life is all about the tough choices.

In the end, I chose to just hold it and wait for the sweet salvation of my home toilet. I made it, though it was a photo-finish. The best bathroom stories always are.


  • Though I throughly enjoyed this post, if I had to do it all over again, I would probably have finished my sandwich and then started reading.

    By Blogger dave, at 6:37 PM  

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