Cliff Gardner

Thursday, October 27, 2005

My visit with the bone man

This morning I went to see the doctor for an annual physical. Three things are worth mentioning:

First, I’m getting fat. After going my entire undergraduate career with my weight fluctuating somewhere between 112-117, I now weigh 128. Feel free to shout FATTY FATTY TWO-BY-FOUR, CAN’T FIT THROUGH THE KITCHEN DOOR whenever I enter a room.

Second, I’m probably gonna die soon. But seriously, I might have cancer. I have a mole on my back that they’re pretty concerned about, so I’m coming in on Monday to have them remove it. When I called to make the appointment, I asked if I could come in costume since it will be on Halloween. The receptionist laughed and said I could. I think I’ll go as the grim reaper.

Third, I do silly things sometimes. For example, when I got there, I went to the window to check in and just started up with friendly banter. It took the receptionist a few seconds to realize that I was standing there, and then she opened the window which I hadn’t noticed was there and was closed. Everyone in the waiting room laughed. Sick people are assholes.

Today I’m going to the Lewis-Clark State College tournament in Idaho (in an old-person bus with big windows, which I get to drive and in which the team will be watching “Listen to Me” during the eight hour trip!), so I probably won’t be updating until early next week. Stay tuned, though, because I’ve got a few more “that would rock” entries.


  • AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA, that is SO funny! I really hope that that mole comes off without any incidents though :) And, um, I weigh 127, and am trying to get back to 118. Haven't been that since my freshman year... BLAST!

    By Anonymous Kim, at 2:38 PM  

  • Oh man, no worries- I often feel like I'm going to die after a few visits to the doctor. PS- you are so light! I am around 120 and I'm a girl- so perhaps you're ganing muscle.

    Gotta watch out for those sickies

    By Anonymous munchmunchahha, at 4:36 PM  

  • 128?! You realize that the normal, healthy weight for someone our age and height is 155? As for the mole, please tell me more. I will praying for an excision and biopsy without incident. Remember, when concerned with a mole, check its ABCD's: Assymetry, Border, Color, and Diameter. (Its likely that your biopsy will be read in the room next door to my office.)

    By Anonymous Sharl, at 6:55 PM  

  • Not from here. From here.

    By Anonymous dave, at 8:33 PM  

  • No worries, Tom. I went through the exact same thing with a couple moles 2 years ago. I'm sure it will be fine. Today, I'm free and clear.
    AND, I went through high school wishing I could go back to being 128—which is what I was in middle school. So, fatty fatty that. Fatty.

    By Anonymous zayne, at 9:33 PM  

  • Uhh... I only wish I could weigh under 130. You guys suck ;o)

    Good thing they noticed that mole early! Early detection is so important - good luck with the removal (I had one removed on my chest - its weird feeling).

    By Anonymous Kristen, at 9:23 AM  

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