Cliff Gardner

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

That Would Rock: Volume One

I’ve decided to start a new series here on CG called “That Would Rock,” in which I delve deep into my theories for improving the world and life in general.

Today’s edition suggests that everyone, and everything, should have little Pop-Up Video bubbles. Remember that show on VH1 that basically just showed music videos, only they had little informative bubbles that popped up during the whole thing? Well, I think they would make life a hell of a lot easier.

For example, say you’re about to order a sandwich, and a little bubble pops up that reads, “Only 8% of cooks at this restaurant regularly wash their hands,” and another one soon after that reads, “In 1998, this building was closed due to suspicion of asbestos, a fact which corrupt inspectors purposefully overlooked when it reopened last year.” See? These little bubbles just saved you a nasty bout with salmonella and CANCER.

I think the most interesting and helpful feature of these hypothetical bubbles would be during the dating process. They would really put the kybosh on a lot of sleazy Casanova’s. Ladies, say some attractive young man is flirting with you at a bar, and you’re really into him, but then a bubble pops up that reads, “Mike has an unidentified sore on his genitals that he has chosen to ignore for the last six weeks.” Pop-Up Video bubbles would help people see though all the bullshit. Even sex would be more entertaining. Bubbles like “Chuck is hoping you’ll ignore the urine stain on his pants” and “Martha routinely forgets to take her birth control” would be a hoot!

I’m just saying, THAT WOULD ROCK!

3 Comments:

  • It would! When can we expect the next broadcast? :-)

    And ryc: suggestions? God, I wish I knew all the right answers for that. I think that for me, personally, activism is becoming increasingly important. I'm more willing to spend time writing letters now, and certainly more prone to use connections to get heard.

    By Anonymous Christine, at 10:35 PM  

  • You made me laugh out loud! I'm so excited to see you later today :)

    --Mandy

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 11:42 AM  

  • I am in strong encouragement of the continuation of 'That would rock' posts.

    By Anonymous kristen, at 7:36 PM  

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