Cliff Gardner

Friday, November 18, 2005

Would You Rather?!

When I was a freshman at Willamette, I had what turned out to be a pretty bad job at the campus bookstore. People were always cranky, I never got a handle on the register and my boss was a hyperactive dick. The one good thing that came from it was the occasional hours I would spend in the nearly abandoned convenient store (the first five minutes of “Clerks” summarizes it well) where I would get to read a little book called Would You Rather…? It asked a series of bizarre questions that were right up my comedic alley. So, to get to know the CG readers better, I offer my own series of would-you-rather-type questions that you can respond in the comments:

Would you rather be a five year old trapped at the Neverland Ranch


Be a feeble 90 year old trapped in a crooked nursing home?

Things to consider: memory loss, Jesus Juice.

Would you rather have no arms


Have one arm ten feet long?

Things to consider: elevator doors, clapping, volleyball.

Would you rather never have sex again


Have sex every day of your life with Robert Bork?

Things to consider: robes, gavels, Griswold v. Connecticut.


  • Five year old at the ranch....

    One arm 10 feet long! OMG the NBA would not know what hit them!

    Never have sex again.

    By Anonymous Megan, at 9:15 AM  

  • Doesn't really matter, 5 years old or 90. Either way, it'll all be over soon.

    No arms. Better parking. No more hangnails.

    No sex.

    By Anonymous zayne, at 11:16 PM  

  • 90

    no arm

    no sex

    By Blogger Miss B, at 3:26 PM  

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