Cliff Gardner

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Stop honking at me; I’m really not an asshole!

Yucca isn’t doing that well. Whenever she is on but not moving, she overheats within five minutes. While this isn’t a problem when I’m in Forest Grove where the closest thing to traffic is a hay truck, it is a problem on the highways from here to Salem. So, traffic literally kills my car.

A good example is yesterday, when I was coming back from visiting Mandy. There were several patches of heavy traffic which forced me to change lanes repeatedly just to keep Yucca moving and prevent the engine from exploding. I drove on the shoulder for a mile. I drove in turn lanes and cut back into the highway at the last possible minute. I even drove on the gravel part in between lanes where construction workers had been only an hour before. Remember the Seinfeld episode where Elaine drove like a maniac to get her boyfriend to the airport? Yea, that was me yesterday.

There are basically two things that bother me about this whole ordeal. First, I don’t like the fact that I have no control over what the auto mechanic tells me, or any real way to verify it that doesn't cost me more money. He could tell me that my car is overheating because Tonya Harding is wedged under the fan belt, or that I have 200 pounds of grain in the engine, and I would just grimace and write him a check. Second, I’ve already paid $70 to fix this problem a month ago and it’s still an issue. That would have paid for a lot of egg nog.

So, the next time you see someone driving erratically, don’t assume that they’re drunk or stupid, or even that they’re a jerk. Please don’t honk at them or give them the finger. They could just be trying to keep their car alive.


  • Hahahahah, I love the fact that you call your car Yucca.

    By Blogger Matt, at 7:33 PM  

  • I needed to hear that.

    Egg nog!

    By Anonymous zayne, at 10:12 PM  

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