Cliff Gardner

Friday, January 06, 2006

The best part of waking up...

Scene: 6:15 am. I am up and moving after going to bed only four hours earlier (bad idea, by the way, in case you were wondering). I had set the oven to preheat a few minutes earlier on my way from the shower to my room, planning on returning in a few minutes to toast some English Muffins for breakfast. When I get back, I find my mom in full panic mode over the over, taking out some semi-cooked sticky buns that my sister must had left in there the night before and planned on cooking this morning. The following dialogue ensues:

Mom: Well this is just how I wanted to start my day! What they hell is wrong with you?

Me: Good Morning!

Mom: Don’t give me that shit! *Pointing to oven* You’ve just got to stop this, Thomas! I can’t take it anymore!

Me: (thinking) *Yea, cause this is the fourth time this month I’ve gotten up at dawn and almost burnt sticky buns, you psycho.* You’re right, I’m sorry.

Mom: *Storms off*

I’ve decided that my mother would be a really good white supremacist because she never makes any sense and is usually very angry.


  • You know, checking the oven is a little lesson that I learned very very well when I was 14... I was babysitting and turned the oven on to make dinner. The kitchen was soon full of smoke and there were flames contained in the oven. Turned the oven off, called the fire department, got the kids out. Turns out the kid's mom had put a plastic tray with his birthday cake in the oven and forgotten about it in there. Whoops.

    By Blogger Andrea, at 8:59 AM  

  • HAHA! Sounds about right. I'm not very good in the kitchen, but I'll keep my stories to myself. I will say that now cookie dough fears me! LOL

    By Anonymous Kim, at 11:13 AM  

  • Sigh. Crazy mothers. It scares me...what if I lose my mind in 150 years?!

    By Anonymous Christine, at 9:42 AM  

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