King Triton: father of the year

I think Ariel’s dad in The Little Mermaid was a pretty damn good father. As a child, I remember being horrified when Triton used his magical golden pitchfork to destroy all of Ariel’s stuff, but looking back on it, I’m pretty sure that she got off easy.

Pretend for a second that you were in Triton’s shoes/fins. Also, imagine that this whole situation had taken place on land. Your only daughter is seriously obsessed with fish. She spends pretty much all of her time imaging what it would be like to swim around, talking with her weird friends about how amazing fish are and singing songs about how badly she wants to dive in and be with them, if only for a day. You put up with this bizarre behavior for a while only to find her secret stash of fishbone necklaces, fish drawings, fish perfume and a giant stuffed dolphin. Most parents would want to smash her stuff and I don’t think Triton was out of line in trying to convince her to straighten up and fly right.

Of course, that emotionally abusive outburst likely only added to the eventual therapy Ariel needed, but still, I sympathize with where Triton was coming from.