Predator? More like PredAMAZING!

When I saw the previews for Step Up, I was surprised by some of the reviews that called it “the film of our generation.” Frankly, the person who wrote that review obviously never saw Predator which CLEARLY had the “film of our generation” title sewn way the hell up long before the latest dancer-from-the-wrong-side-of-the-tracks-makes-it-big-crap-fest was dreamed up by whatever Passions director finally got their big break to make Step Up. By the way, I don’t think I will Step Up. I’ll step down, back, and as far away as possible from any theatre showing that movie.

Seriously though, Predator is the best movie ever made. Just look at the facts; it certainly has all the ingredients for a masterpiece. Future Governor of a Minnesota gets shot in the arm and shouts “I Ain’t Got Time to Bleed” into the camera: check. The guy who played Apollo Creed gets his arm cut off: check. Future Governor of California crushes alien with three ton log: check. The only thing that could have made Predator better would have been an appearance by Elizabeth Berkeley’s character from Showgirls and Gizmo, the cute Gremlin. In a time machine. Filled with pirate treasure.