Cliff Gardner

Saturday, September 02, 2006

Life’s Intentions

Stolen from Dre, these are things that I want my life to be about. Some are more funny than others, but I promise that I'm serious about all of them.

--To be so hilarious that people spontaneously wet themselves and shoot whatever they’re drinking out their nose after a few minutes of conversation with me

--To be able to go to sleep every night feeling good about what I’ve done that day

--To be able to bounce a quarter off my hard, tasty abs

--To be a great husband (to my wife, Katherine Heigl) and father (to my children, Horatio, Huck and Katherine Jr.)

--To be a good representation of the Baha’i Faith

--To be able to shout “who’s your daddy now SUCKA?!” in Ukrainian while dunking over someone I taught to speak and write in English in a village in Ukraine

--To be a good person


  • Aw, I love these! Even with the silly ones, you can tell what the great intention behind it really is (I like the Ukranian one especially.)

    By Anonymous andrea, at 3:31 PM  

  • All of these make me smile just a little bit because as I'm reading them, I can picture you doing each one of them. Especially you yelling in Ukranian while dressed in an overcoat, scarf while thinking about using the optional gloves and earmuffs.

    By Blogger truax, at 4:39 PM  

  • Huck is a great name for a kid - I can't think of any word that children will rhyme in order to tease that poor little hucker.

    By Blogger magic, and with love from Sam,, at 10:29 PM  

  • You're either well on your way or have already reached most of those goals, and I doubt you'll have any trouble with the rest. Except maybe that one about bouncing a quarter off your abs - you're just too fat and don't exercise enough for THAT to ever happen. :)

    By Anonymous liz, at 2:01 PM  

  • Would your fourth child (if a girl) be named Molly?

    By Blogger truax, at 3:01 PM  

  • I don't see that one of your goals was to copy me with your new Gortex coat. You love me.

    What's next? You'll probably use my favorite line: "My name is George. I'm unemployed and live with my parents."

    I didn't realize that we had so much in common.

    By Anonymous george costanza, at 11:13 PM  

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