Mo Money Mo Problems

Today’s task in Peace Corps preparation was the long avoided and really scary process of getting my loans deferred. Like most college grads, I have lots of debt, and if I can’t stop making payments while serving then I can’t go, so it’s a pretty big deal. I have two big loans—one from Willamette and another from a lender that rhymes with Smells Margo. Here are my highly dramatized accounts of how my conversations with each lender went.

Conversation one:

Me: Hi, I’m serving in the Peace Corps and I need a loan deferment.
Willamette Loan Lady: Oh how wonderful! Where are you going?!
Me: Ukraine! I’m really excited about it!
WLL: Wow, that’s just great. You’re going to have such a great time and it’ll be an amazing experience! You can absolutely have a deferment for the time you’re over there. In fact, we’ll even cancel out a third of your loan balance for the time you’re a volunteer!
Me: I love Willamette so much!

Conversation two:

Me: Hi, I’m serving in the Peace Corps and I need a loan deferment.
Smells Margo Person: I couldn’t hear you; a whiney little girl was talking about how she wanted to go help orphans someplace, would you say that again?
Me: Ummm…I need a loan deferment for Peace Corps service.
SMP: Yea, no. You can go to hell.
Me: But I’m looking at your website right now and I know you give deferments for the Peace Corps; I just need some forms.
SMP: I want you to know that I’m sprinkling a hybrid strain of SARS and Bird Flu with them in the envelop. May your debilitating and hopefully crippling disease keep you warm on your government-subsidized hippie vacation.