Cliff Gardner

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

Mo Money Mo Problems

Today’s task in Peace Corps preparation was the long avoided and really scary process of getting my loans deferred. Like most college grads, I have lots of debt, and if I can’t stop making payments while serving then I can’t go, so it’s a pretty big deal. I have two big loans—one from Willamette and another from a lender that rhymes with Smells Margo. Here are my highly dramatized accounts of how my conversations with each lender went.

Conversation one:

Me: Hi, I’m serving in the Peace Corps and I need a loan deferment.
Willamette Loan Lady: Oh how wonderful! Where are you going?!
Me: Ukraine! I’m really excited about it!
WLL: Wow, that’s just great. You’re going to have such a great time and it’ll be an amazing experience! You can absolutely have a deferment for the time you’re over there. In fact, we’ll even cancel out a third of your loan balance for the time you’re a volunteer!
Me: I love Willamette so much!

Conversation two:

Me: Hi, I’m serving in the Peace Corps and I need a loan deferment.
Smells Margo Person: I couldn’t hear you; a whiney little girl was talking about how she wanted to go help orphans someplace, would you say that again?
Me: Ummm…I need a loan deferment for Peace Corps service.
SMP: Yea, no. You can go to hell.
Me: But I’m looking at your website right now and I know you give deferments for the Peace Corps; I just need some forms.
SMP: I want you to know that I’m sprinkling a hybrid strain of SARS and Bird Flu with them in the envelop. May your debilitating and hopefully crippling disease keep you warm on your government-subsidized hippie vacation.


  • Yeah, I've had some of the same experiences for AmeriCorps deferment but thankfully the people in Montana are so F'n nice that it hasn't been much of a problem.

    By Anonymous shea, at 10:36 PM  

  • um...wait...they took a third of your loans?!?! I want to go in the peace corps now :)

    By Blogger Kourtney, at 10:41 PM  

  • Great job Willamette! Everyone needs to follow the pattern of Willamette. You'll make it.

    They're just trying to strip mine Montana and you have to find a way to weed through the antiquated files to success.

    By Blogger truax, at 10:41 PM  

  • Three cheers for the government subsidized hippie vacation!!! Do you think my trip to London counts?

    By Blogger Haylie, at 11:39 PM  

  • Perhaps if you tell Smelly Margo her horoscope, she will be more helpful.

    By Blogger magic, and with love from Sam,, at 6:47 AM  

  • Oh, bureacracy. Gotta love it. Despite the nervousness, I am looking forward to our government funded hippie vacation.

    By Anonymous Sarah, at 10:20 AM  

  • I hope you don't mind that I laugh heartily at your frustration. If you do mind, well, stop making your frustration so funny!

    By Anonymous Liz, at 1:05 PM  

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