Cliff Gardner

Saturday, September 09, 2006

Apparently I’ll be dead soon

A few days ago I needed to be let into a building at Pacific so I called a campus safety officer to come let me in. We got to chatting and it came up that I’m leaving for the Peace Corps at the end of the month. Now, most people usually react with excitement and enthusiasm upon learning about my plans. A few folks are under the misconception that it involves military service, an idea that I am quick to dispel. However, when the officer learned that I would be living in Ukraine for over two years, his reaction was by far the most intense and odd that I’ve encountered. We had the following conversation:

Officer: So, where will you be living?

Me: Somewhere in Ukraine; I don’t know specifically where yet.

Officer: They’re going to kill you. Chechnya is crazy these days.

Me: Oh, well…I don’t think you understand. See, I'm not--

Officer: --NO, I don’t think YOU understand. Those Chechen rebels are going to murder you because you’re an American.

Me: OK, first off, I don’t think that’s a fair characterization of the Chechen people. Second, I’m not going to Chechnya, I’m going to Ukraine. Third, WHAT?!

Officer: Look, I just think they’re going to kill you and I thought you would like to know.

Me: Uh, thanks?


  • now you've been warned... for what it's worth :).

    It should help to know that security guys are often nuts --

    By Blogger Inside the Philosophy Factory, at 3:18 AM  

  • My most awkward conversation with a CPS officer was when she showed me photos from her wedding shower.

    When she said, "This is the potato masher someone gave us," I tried not to laugh.

    When she said, "This is lingerie that I got," I tried not to cry.

    By Blogger magic, and with love from Sam,, at 7:19 AM  

  • Hey now, she showed a lot of people her 9,999 photos on cd, but really, at the end of the day, our cps officers have the most charm.

    By Anonymous T-Funny, at 7:30 AM  

  • HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!

    By Blogger Haylie, at 9:34 AM  

  • ::shakes head::

    That guy sounds amazing.
    I can't believe you didn't stay and engage him in more conversation.

    By Blogger Cptn. Backfire, at 9:42 PM  

  • Our CPS officers are the best. It's the Pacific difference...

    By Blogger truax, at 10:35 PM  

  • Maybe he can offer an exit strategy for Iraq?

    By Anonymous sharl, at 2:09 AM  

  • That wasn't quite nice of him. What a jerkface!

    By Anonymous Holli, at 11:22 AM  

  • So, do you feel better now that you know?

    By Blogger Kourtney, at 8:04 PM  

  • in related news, i've recently decided that from now on, when someone asks me why i wanted to join the peace corps, i'm just going to start singing "maybe i'm crazy" (a la gnarls barkley) and dancing around a little. because really, that's what they're thinking, no matter how rational my explanation sounds. so, i think it'll be the perfect solution.

    By Blogger alison, at 10:29 AM  

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