Cliff Gardner

Thursday, February 16, 2006

Wellness Matters

I’ve come to the conclusion that I need money to go to law school, and with that in mind, I’ve been trying to get another job in addition to my awesome coaching gig at Pacific. In truth, however, I haven’t been trying very hard and have only applied to one place, a local health-club type establishment called “Wellness Matters.” When I was driving by a few weeks ago, I noticed a “help wanted” sign in the window and thought that Wellness is something that I can get behind, so I applied.

There are two parts about this that I find funny. First, I don’t really know what I applied to do, and I’m not sure what services this club/place/building provides, either. I could have actually applied to work at some sort of new-age massage parlor/strip club and based on how little I know about this place, that is just as feasible a job as any other. But hey, as long as it is Wellness-related, I’m sure I’m their man! Secondly, I’ve dropped by at least ten times in the last two weeks to “check in” and see if they need any more information from me. In other words, I just keep showing up and asking for a job. At this point, I’m fairly certain that they’re not going to hire me because they would have done it already, so I’m just trying to make this whole situation as awkward, uncomfortable and hilarious as possible. On the plus side, my comedic Wellness is tip-fucking-top!


  • Ha ha. That is great. Keep on droppin' in. Maybe they'll hire you out of sheer embarrassment.

    By Anonymous zayne, at 5:45 PM  

  • ha ha ha. i wonder if the wellness people get the joke.

    By Anonymous ashley, at 10:44 PM  

  • This is funny now. But if you want it to be really funny, you should keep going for at least another year.

    "Hey, just checking in with you guys about that application I submitted..."

    By Blogger Mike Owens, at 3:24 PM  

  • Great blog! I was surfing the web to find tips on the Art of Living. If you are interested have a quick look at so we can exchange ideas.

    By Anonymous the Art of Living, at 8:30 AM  

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