Wellness Matters

I’ve come to the conclusion that I need money to go to law school, and with that in mind, I’ve been trying to get another job in addition to my awesome coaching gig at Pacific. In truth, however, I haven’t been trying very hard and have only applied to one place, a local health-club type establishment called “Wellness Matters.” When I was driving by a few weeks ago, I noticed a “help wanted” sign in the window and thought that Wellness is something that I can get behind, so I applied.

There are two parts about this that I find funny. First, I don’t really know what I applied to do, and I’m not sure what services this club/place/building provides, either. I could have actually applied to work at some sort of new-age massage parlor/strip club and based on how little I know about this place, that is just as feasible a job as any other. But hey, as long as it is Wellness-related, I’m sure I’m their man! Secondly, I’ve dropped by at least ten times in the last two weeks to “check in” and see if they need any more information from me. In other words, I just keep showing up and asking for a job. At this point, I’m fairly certain that they’re not going to hire me because they would have done it already, so I’m just trying to make this whole situation as awkward, uncomfortable and hilarious as possible. On the plus side, my comedic Wellness is tip-fucking-top!