Cliff Gardner

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

It all went down at the cantina that she liked

The more I learn about Paula Abdul the more freaked out I am. I get the impression that at home, she puts Mrs. Dash on everything and tells her friends and family that she dreams of becoming a pro-bass fisherman on ESPN-2. Her American Idol trailer could very well be decorated with dozens of Shania Twain posters and paper bags filled with ripped-up pages of Pride and Prejudice. In twenty years, I predict that she'll live alone in her Beverly Hills mansion surrounded by 200 cats and ninja stars that she throws at card board cutouts of Barry Bonds dressed as her in drag.


  • So, since the whole Wellness Matters thing isn't working out, this could be your new career - you seem to have a knack for fortune-telling.

    By Blogger magic, and with love from Sam,, at 3:56 PM  

  • wow, did Bonds borrow that outfit from out.. WAIT! didn't you wear that the the intro meeting at the start of the year?... yes, yes I believe you did.

    By Blogger The Assassin (burrr), at 9:18 PM  

  • ha ha yes i believe jess is right. i've seen pictures.

    and why were you even READING that paula abdul article?

    By Blogger Ashley, at 9:55 PM  

  • If there is any veiled "Pride and Prejudice" bashing in this post, you're going to get beat down. Well, OK, so probably not by me. I mean, seriously? But I'll hire someone.

    Don't you doubt it.

    By Blogger Haylie, at 11:53 PM  

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