Cliff Gardner

Friday, September 22, 2006

Un-safe

I tell my students that nervousness and excitement are the same emotion, just with different attitudes. If that’s true, then I am more exited or nervous than I’ve ever been, depending on what minute it is. For the first time I’m doing something that really matters. When I went away to college I was still only an hour from home. Everything in my life has been safe—fun, amazing and filled with awesome people, but ultimately SAFE. In three months I will be living five thousand miles from home with people I don’t know, teaching something new in a language I don’t currently speak. And it’s going to be really, really cold. In short, it will be radically different than everything I’ve ever done and decidedly un-safe. That’s pretty heavy, and it makes me feel a lot of emotions. At the moment, though—I’m going with excited. :-)

I know CG has been the “listen to Thomas ramble about the Peace Corps” blog for the past week or so and I’m sorry. Here’s something kinda funny. Honestly, my heart just isn’t in it but hopefully it’ll make at least some of you laugh.

Rejected Magic Eight Ball Answers:

--Haha! Wait, you’re serious?

--Don’t touch me there!

--Well that’s a little personal, don’t you think?

--Honestly, I’m not magic at all and I don’t know how that rumor got started so just put me down already!

--I’m sorry, I was watching the really awesome Grey’s Anatomy season premiere and wasn’t listening…would you mind asking that again?

--It’s a party in here! No, you're not invited. Well why do you think?

7 Comments:

  • You can do it -- and you'll do well. My Peace Corps cousin found amazing things in himself.

    Accept the fact that there will be times when you are lonely, frustrated, sad, scared and tired. There will also be times when you feel such a connection to the people that you can't imagine going home, fulfilled, happy, confident and energetic.

    Besides, you have to leave Oregon sometime!

    By Blogger Inside the Philosophy Factory, at 4:04 AM  

  • The gift thing is killing me ! There are so many types of people I could be put with and I'm not sacrificing a sweater to plan for all of them.

    I've got hotsauce, picture books, lipsticks for the ladies, and lollipops for kids.

    I don't even knoe what is "American." I eat ethnic, and everything I own is from somewhere else!! This is really quite maddening.

    By Blogger Hannah, at 9:18 AM  

  • Hey, Big Tuna -
    I like reading your rambling's about The Core.

    By Blogger magic, and with love from Sam,, at 9:28 AM  

  • You're going to rock it, T-Mac. It's true, though... I'm just here for a term with people whose language I (mostly) understand and still there are moments when it's terrifying, exhilarating, achingly lonely, dull, frustrating, thrilling, humiliating, breathtaking, or simply brilliant (this based on a polling sample of a week). It's fabulous. You're going to be fine, just fine.

    By Blogger Haylie, at 11:57 AM  

  • Yeah, I remember that kind of nervousness and excitement when I moved to college. I was leaving behind a place that contained so many people I loved, and a life that I liked. I actually remember thinking the first night in my dorm room with a complete stranger of a roommate (who actually turned out to be a fugitive from the law...but that's a long story) ;) and entire dorm of people who knew each other except for me that all I wanted to do was go back home to my friends.

    But it turned out fantastic, and my years at Carroll were easily some of the best of my life. So yeah, I'll echo what Patty said: you will feel those kinds of feelings, but the experience will be SO worth it.

    -shea

    By Blogger Montana VISTA, at 1:06 PM  

  • You are about to push off into a new chapter about your life. Don't hide it...share it with the world, like you have been doing.

    By Blogger truax, at 6:10 PM  

  • You will have an awesome time! Despite how hard it will be, you'll never regret it, and I'm sure the good times will outweigh the hard times.

    Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go molest a magic 8 ball.

    By Anonymous liz, at 6:14 PM  

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