Cliff Gardner

Thursday, September 14, 2006

Let's compare things: volume three!

Continued from here and here…this series hasn’t gotten a lot of love in the past from the CG readership, but I’m sticking with this one like a t-shirt on a fat kid in a swimming pool.

This edition is: Jessica Rabbit vs. Paul Hamm

Round One: How red hair makes him/her look

Jessica: Like Lindsay Lohan except with talent

Paul: With the freckles, like an ambitious, limber Chuckey

Winner: Jessica. I actually liked her in Mean Girls

Round Two: Physical exertion in form fitting clothes (See, this is why I should be running the Oscars)

Jessica: Grinding on that guy who played Smee in Hook

Paul. POMMEL. HORSE.

Winner: Paul…Bob Hoskins is gross

Round Three: Popular opinion in Asia

Jessica: Banned in China

Paul: North Korea is trying really hard to develop nuclear weapons just to kill Paul after the Olympic gold medal controversy

Winner: Draw

Round Four: Individuality

Jessica: One of a kind!

Paul: One of a kind! Except for his twin brother.

Winner: Jessica

Your winner, on a 2-1 decision, JESSICA RABBIT!

3 Comments:

  • I concur - you should be hosting the Oscars.
    FACT: Wisconsinites love them Hamm twins!

    And, yes, some lady does have my phone. Apparently the rule is, if said lady can't find her phone, she gets mine.

    By Blogger magic, and with love from Sam,, at 7:56 AM  

  • This year's host for the ##nd annual Oscars is Thomas McCloskey. *clap*

    Is the twin going to be taken out by the other nuclear weapon that North Korea is developing?

    By Blogger truax, at 12:45 PM  

  • Haha, that's awesome! I don't think Bob Hoskins is gross, though. He's funny in a strange, smelly British sort of way.

    By Anonymous Liz, at 12:18 AM  

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