Cliff Gardner

Thursday, September 14, 2006

I need a good person meter maid

My biggest goal in life is to be a good person. It sound simple, but it’s sort of a struggle. I start off each day at zero on the good-person-meter and it’s usually a rollercoaster ride from there. Take today for example. My Good Person Points (GPP’s) have already gone up and down.

10:05: Go to a local middle school. Visit with my old teachers and set up a pen-pall program with students in a geography class for when I’m in The Core (they’re going to write me letters asking about life in Ukraine and I’ll write back with letters and pictures when I can for two years). +10 GPP’s

10:40: Swing by a bathroom at the school. As I’m washing my hands in the ridiculously low sink, a young man runs into the bathroom and sweats his way over to the mirror. I ask him if he’s ok and he yelps in pain, saying that there are weird bumps all over his tongue. I reply “no glove no love little man” before walking out. -10 GPP’s

11:15: I buy and bring my dad lunch for no real reason. He seems happy. +5 GPP’s

11:25: Seriously consider suggesting that the Peace Corps change the motto from “The Hardest Job You’ll Ever Love” to “I got soul but I’m not a soldier.” +2 GPP’s

11:27: Yell at my dog for eating all of my fries and then throwing them up on the couch. -2 GPP’s

1:35: Mail off my absentee ballot request. Nice people vote and good people make efforts to do so, I think. +3 GPP’s

1:37—4:10: Make a very long string of paper clips while watching ESPN. Do not teach anyone to read, study Ukrainian, cure disease or learn to juggle. Bad people are unproductive and lazy. -8 GPP’s

So, as you can see, I’m about even so far. Hopefully I can stay in the black and keep my head above water for the rest of the day. I should send some people some e-greeting cards, those are always nice.


  • where is this point listing??? If you picked them for yourself I think buying a parent lunch for no reason is worth at least 8....

    By Blogger Kourtney, at 5:27 PM  

  • Thomas, I hate posting a comment that has nothing to do with your entry! I got your voicemail and am so sorry I haven't returned your call! This week? Crazy. So lunch. Let's do it. I am a little confused though. Are you at the beach this weekend or next weekend? Let me know. Which ever weekend you are not at the beach will be the weekend we can break bread!

    By Anonymous Sharl, at 10:45 PM  

  • Being nice is extraordinarly overrated.

    By Anonymous T-Funny, at 11:38 PM  

  • If sitting around not teaching people to read, etc. is worth negative points, I'm definitely going to hell. :) Even if it is worth negative points, you brightened up my evening and gave me an awesome backrub, and that's worth about 23,700 GPP's in my book.

    By Anonymous Liz, at 12:16 AM  

  • I totally suck at returning your calls and somehow just find the minutes I get to read your hilarious, witty, and sometimes bitingly sarcastic blog more plentiful than the minutes spend dialing numbers and leaving messages. Crazy? Yes. Anyhow, next Sunday for lunch would be absolutely lovely! Let's do it!

    By Anonymous Sharl, at 8:15 PM  

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