Cliff Gardner

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

I work hard for the money!

I’ve had, by my count, seven different jobs in my life. As I start my eighth in a little over a month as a teacher, I thought I would pay tribute to some of the interesting and often hilarious jobs I had before:

Job # 1: Goodwill Store Donation Attendant.

Advantages: The hours and hours of down time where I read romance novels that were donated and threw things into the broken glass box.
Disadvantages: The random busy hours where people would leave a weather-worn couch in the drive through that I would have to haul 50 yards to the end of the warehouse and put on a truck.

Quirky habit of boss: Only showing up during the times when I was actually working so it looked like I was the best employee ever.

Reason it ended: Yea, cause I was doing that job for a career. I went back to college when the summer(s) ended!

Job # 2: Willamette Store Cashier

Advantages: Got to sit in the convenient store, listen to the radio and eat numerous cans of free Pringles.

Disadvantages: I never learned how to fold a sweatshirt properly so I was really slow when I was in the actual store.

Quirky habit of boss: Shouting “GOD! Just FOLD IT already!”

Reason it ended: They didn’t hire me back. Oh well.

Job # 3: Young Musicians and Artists Security Guard

Advantages: The money.

Disadvantages: Being stared at by high school girls as I patrolled the area. I had new sympathy for Hooters waitresses after that summer.

Quirky habit of boss: Pretending that I worked for him when I wasn’t on the clock. He would call me over all the time during the day and ask me to fix his water cooler.

Reason it ended: They finally left campus after a month. Thank God.


  • Sounds like an interesting list. I don't want to know what didn't make the cut (oh, wait, we were part of what didn't make the cut).

    By Blogger truax, at 3:31 PM  

  • Job #7: Assistant TO THE Director of Forensics

    Advantages: Lots of cheeseburgers, people that adore you, and trip to Florida.

    Disadvantages: Teased about not eating vegetables, uniform not provided, and trip to Idaho.

    Quirky habit of boss: Watched you sleep when you shared a hotel room.

    Reason it ended: It will never end!!!

    By Blogger magic, and with love from Sam,, at 6:29 PM  

  • Man, I HATED those young musicians and artists kids!

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 8:12 PM  

  • Hey! things could be worse.... I worked at IHOP, That was my one and only job..... I had a fantasy of singing Bob Dylan's "It ain't me babe" while flipping off my manager and spitting in the salad bar the day I quit... instead I just didn't show up to work, didn't return my managers phone calls, and they sent me my last paycheck in the mail.... so much for dreaming... "How does it feel, how does it feel, to be without a home, like a complete unkown.. like a rolling stone." Not that you listen to Bob Dylan, but maybe Ash will like it..

    By Blogger The Assassin (burrr), at 10:56 PM  

  • Fix his water cooler? I didn't know that was part of a security guard's job description. =)

    By Anonymous Eric, at 10:57 PM  

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