Cliff Gardner

Sunday, July 30, 2006

Walking on, walking on broken glaaaaaasss!

As previously mentioned, my windshield has a giant crack in it. A few days ago I found out that it’s going to cost $215 to fix. Now, I’m clearly no expert on cars, but this seems pretty expensive for something I could build myself with a magnifying glass on a hot afternoon in a sandbox. Therefore, I’ve convinced myself that windshields aren’t made of glass at all, but one or more of the following costly things:

--Cocaine. Not just any coke, though! That super, odorless, undetectable, pressure-packed, high-impact stuff that Katherine Zeta Jones used to get her narco-baron husband out of jail in the movie “Traffic.”

--A clear mixture of Bald Eagle eggs, Manatee flippers and Raptor claws, blended together in a sort of endangered/extinct animal paste.

--Moon rocks. One small step for man, one giant, lucrative leap for the auto glass industry.

I would believe any of these explanations before I would honestly swallow the idea that glass—GLASS—costs 215 bucks.


  • Nice move putting your favorite song as the title of this entry. I hate glass shops - even more than I hate animals.

    By Blogger magic, and with love from Sam,, at 7:52 PM  

  • cocaine!!! I can see it now....

    melting it down... yeah. that's the stuff ;)

    By Anonymous Kim, at 9:22 PM  

  • It's designed so that it will break into three dull pieces so not to get into the navigator's eyes.

    By Blogger truax, at 9:50 PM  

  • Or... perhaps diamond fragments? Maybe you should give the sandbox idea a shot. If it works, you could become a millionaire in no time :-)

    By Blogger Diane, at 11:05 AM  

  • I imagine this "glass" is really fairy salt and when the fairies run out of salt, they take it from your windshield.

    By Anonymous Tiff, at 2:11 PM  

  • It's true. I like the guy who invented plastic lens for glasses with titanium frames. Lighter and they make a lot more sense!

    By Blogger Laura, at 9:51 PM  

  • If it helps at all, the price hasn't gone up in 10 years... that was about what it cost to replace several windshields on our Prizims.

    Do you have to do it before you go??

    By Blogger Inside the Philosophy Factory, at 1:43 PM  

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