Cliff Gardner

Friday, August 04, 2006

Hey, somebody's got to give firemen something to do!

Tonight Liz and I are going to make dinner and watch a movie and I’m excited! This afternoon, in preparation for the evening, I swung by Safeway and picked up a six pack of Mike’s Hard Lemonade and headed for the express lane. For reasons that I won’t go into here because it’s kind of a long story, I also had a two-pack of Bic Lighters. As I was waiting in line, this large, middle aged woman in a giant teal mumu looked at what I was buying and gave me a very disapproving look. Now, I really have no patience for people who assume that there’s no moderate way to drink alcohol, largely because I used to be one of those people and I sincerely regret what a jackass I was for a long time because of it. So, I decided to have some fun with mumu. After paying, I gave her a really intense stare and whispered that I was planning on drinking heavily and lighting things on fire before turning and walking out of the store.

6 Comments:

  • Nice - way to take down the mumus of the world - one at a time.

    By Blogger magic, and with love from Sam,, at 4:27 PM  

  • I see you have somehow foreseen my secret plan to lure you to my house with false promises of food and movies, only to get you drunk and set you on fire. Curses! Foiled again! It's no fun if it's not a surprise.

    By Anonymous Liz, at 6:34 PM  

  • Yah, I bummed in Michigan and tried the whole law thing. I didn't like it. I hoping that you keep updating your blog while in Ukraine so that I can read it since I won't be there!

    By Blogger Laura, at 4:22 PM  

  • You'll be fodder for her at bridge this week. When she tells stories about how the younger generation is irresponsible and lazy, you'll be to blame. I hope you are happy :).

    By Blogger Inside the Philosophy Factory, at 9:07 PM  

  • Mumus make me think of Homer and the episode of Simpsons when he gets really, really fat and has to wear them....and the bird that bobs back and forth and pecks at the keyboard. Goodtimes.

    By Anonymous t-Funny, at 1:50 AM  

  • There's nothing wrong with lighting things on fire while drunk. Someone has to burn down old buildings.

    By Blogger truax, at 9:52 PM  

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