Cliff Gardner

Monday, August 14, 2006

A reasonable assumption

David and I are walking around Safeway buying things for the Wedding Extravaganza. The cart is filled with bendy straws, Mike’s and a crap load of Goldfish Crackers. Without me noticing, David leads us towards the vegetable end of the store.

Me: Wait, what the hell are you doing?

David: I’m buying celery.

Me: Uh, ok. Hold on, don’t you need to weigh it or put it in one of those bags and label it or something?

David: *blinks* Are you telling me you don’t even know how to buy vegetables?

Me: I guess not.

David: I’m guessing you don’t really eat what one might call a balanced diet.


  • The diet is balanced, 50% meat, 50% cheese, 50% running.

    By Blogger truax, at 11:39 PM  

  • I can hear the fear and dread in your voice as you approach wonder you're so fat.

    You're scared. Of plants.

    By Blogger magic, and with love from Sam,, at 11:42 PM  

  • Celery shouldn't count as a vegetable anyway. It's basically crunchy water. Potato chips and french fries on the other hand are vegetables. Oh, I changed the link to my site to

    By Blogger Diane, at 9:35 AM  

  • ^ Yeah I agree with the above.

    I've become a vegetarian and I hate celery.

    By Anonymous shea, at 6:32 PM  

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